Welcome to Marsh Gibbon Cricket Club

May 30th Away v Winslow
June 6th Home v the Red Bat Collective
June 13th Away v Westcott
August 15th Home v Holton

In a story not too dissimilar to a Comic Strip (“5 go mad on Mescalin“) escapade the sunday crew enjoyed a feast fit to burst a Jeacock, some amazing crowd scenes, an umpire in an unfortunate situation and the presence of a young promising player called Crouchy (who he? Ed.). And Guesty still managed to miss out – but more of that later…

With the forecast suggesting we should pack pacamacs rather than picnics the crew assembled to take on the might of Weymes and Westcott, our slayers in last season’s final game. Marsh felt confident with a strong cast:

Julian – Westy
Dick – Guesty
George – Scotty
Anne – Ann
Uncle Quentin – Mouth
Aunt Fanny – Lucy
Toby – WyattEarp
Shopkeeper / Gypsy / Timmy the dog – Mikey
Dirty Dick – Shaggy
Fingers – SteveO
Police Inspector – RDM
Railway Porter – Crouchy

Under a slate grey sky Julian won the toss (Ahem. There are children reading this. Ed.) and chose to bat, especially as Westcott were still awaiting the arrival of their 11th man. With the somewhat strange partnership of Uncle Quentin and Aunt Fanny opening the rest of the crew waited with baited breath. In fact it didn’t take too long for Uncle Quentin to ask his spouse to calm down after stroking two through the offside ring (of fielders – Ed.). Unfortunately Aunt Fanny retreated into her shell for 23 balls (despite the crowd being geared up to cheer her when she hit double figures)! After Quentin had left the field, shortly followed by Timmo the dog and Fanny, the railway porter entered stage right to treat the ball and the bowlers as if they were pieces of luggage at Heathrow in a short and brutal scene.

Time then to take stock – a bit of nurdling required – as Weymes began to make an impact. Toby steadied the ship whilst wickets fell around him, Fingers and Dick removed (oh come on! Ed.), Dirty Dick triggered and the Inspector bowled over. Finally Julian joined Toby for the last few overs to get the score up to 178, leaving George on his lonesome with no where to go.

At teatime, the crew’s taste for outdoor picnics of “ham and turkey sandwiches, bags of lettuce, hard-boiled eggs, heaps of tomato, and lashings of ginger beer” was there for all to see.

It was either the mescalin or the scones but the reply from the crew was sharp and fast! Timmy the Dog having one opener caught by Julian in the slips (careful, Ed.) in the first over. Reducing Westcott to 3 for 2 soon after the crew were in command and not even a 40 something from the mighty Weymes could halt their progress. In true sunday fashion Julian decided to spread the load around (I’ve warned you. Ed.) Timmy the Dog enjoyed a spell behind the sticks, Uncle Quentin turned his arm over, the Inspector took a good catch to remove the mighty Weymes and Dirty Dick’s success with the ball promoted a spontaneous eruption of St Vitus Dance from the watching onlookers. In fact the only one to miss out with the ball was Dick (don’t even think it! Ed.) as the crew strolled to a comfortable win.

Huzzah, three cheers for MGCC!!!

Ed. We would just like to point out that in no way does this tale of summer cricket suggest that Uncle Quentin is a “screaming homosexual” nor his wife Fanny an “unrelenting nymphomaniac”, as well as clearly not strongly implying a homosexual relationship between Dick and Julian nor a bestial one between George and Timmy. Nor should the children’s apparently racist and extreme right-wing views be considered as a true representation of the events of last sunday.

Ok children, are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. Let’s all start with a definition of what Sunday Cricket is all about Is it about bowling half-trackers designed to take the batsman’s head off? Is it about not being ass’d about sorting out drinks or not bothering with the scoreboard, or forgetting to retire your man on 50 as agreed? Or is it about bowling a first ball bouncer to the #8 batsman when he comes in? Or about shedloads of verbals and too much testosterone for your own brain cells to cope with?

What do you think children?

I’m with you – I reckon that’s a pretty poor way to play Sunday friendly cricket – don’t you?

Well sadly that’s how it was this sunday when the Sunday Crew took on a village team with apparently the most incredible generation of cricketing talent for a village of their size (what do you reckon 50-70 houses?)- more like what you’d expect form a town the size of Bicester.

Anyway in amongst an awful lot of beamers, full tosses, one man bowling one over too many and far too many short pitched deliveries given the state of the weather and the pitch Mikey scored another impressive 39, Stu got lumped on the ear which drew plenty of blood, Steve-O ( I think that has to be his nickname now – have you seen the Wildboys?) had to dive for cover and Westy got a chest high full toss and some subsequent abuse as his first delivery. In response the Hitman gave them a bit of what for and we limped to 115 all out and had to restrain our scorer from visiting the visitors changing room with a baseball bat!

After we and half of their team had had some tea – well they just didn’t appear (obviously afraid of Ann) – we took to the field and got the perfect start. Mikey’s first ball removed the batsman’s middle stump – clearly this was a total surprise as the poor chap stood there for some time, clearly unable to comprehend that actually hitting the stumps rather than the man was a credible approach to playing the game! Lewis bowled another tidy spell to keep the pressure on and when they were replaced by Shaggy and Steve-O (3 for 23) wickets kept on falling. When drinks finally appeared – thanks to the Chairman’s wife(!) – Tommo took over behind the stumps and the Mouth came on to bowl.

Guesty reckoned we needed some magic and we nearly got it! Joe grabbed 3 wickets including the man who should have retired 3 runs earlier – but not even his own team applauded his 50 (how were we to know?) Tommo nearly took the catch of the season and we ended up losing out by 1 wicket!

Clearly we have a different view of what sunday cricket is and should be all about – rest assured we won’t be making the same mistake again – they won’t be invited back. Now let’s move on…..

Dontcha just love the way that Sunday’s can go? A 2pm start means different things to different people…. so at 2.30-ish having lost the toss and being invited to bat the Sunday Crew embarked upon another exciting chapter. Bolstered by the appearance of Scotty, Ollie, Wyatt Earp and Stevie T the crew felt confident of a good showing – although we unreservedly apologise for the crap state of the scorebook – sorry Ann!

Well the best laid plans and all that… Starting with Stevie T and Lucy the innings didn’t get off to the flying start we hoped for. Tight bowling and the inability to remove leg from in front of straight balls and stumps saw for both openers – sorry guys but you were plum and I had already been very, very, lenient! Ollie managed to get our as the ball rolled down the hill onto his stumps…. Wickets continued to fall as batsmen got in and then got out (presumably they’d seen the England selectors lurking in the bushes!). Guesty struck a series of fine blows, Jordan battled manfully with the sun and a lack of contact lenses whilst attempting to “hit the red thing coming towards me!” But t’was Mikey who made the greatest impact – not just by running out the Chairman (outrageous) but by blasting the ball to all corners to finish with a “jug avoidance” 48! So the tail truly wagged and the 172 was deemed a satisfactory outcome upon which to pause for tea.

With the crew taking to the field believing that Holton had a weak batting line up the mood was positive! But cricket is a “funny old game” and for a good chunk of the time spent in the field the crew felt that deja vu had struck – again! It’s that friendly 50 and out rule/conversation/opening gambit (just don’t mention it again – Ed!).

Although the opening bowlers – Mikey – somewhat less threatening (or was it more threatening?) off his short run up (alleged leg injury) and Lucy tried hard there was not a lot of success. Wyatt Earp bowled another tight spell gaining one wicket before being rested by the skip who proceeded to bowl a less than tight spell without any success. However the crew managed to pull things back in the final 10 overs.

During this key period of the match both Wyatt Earp and Mikey kept things tight at one end whilst Ollie twirled away at the other allowing the skip to remove said purveyor of deja vu. Moment of the day was definitely when Mikey, with a pick up and an awesome throw in from deep mid off, right over the stumps, allowed Stevie T to smash the stumps and leave the assembled masses… well, awed! In the end it came down to Holton requiring 10 off the final over and some tight fielding and controlled bowling from Ollie meant that we stopped them and won by 3 runs!

In a very good humour those of us able to took up the kind offer from our hosts of some food at the local hostellry – Stevie T rubbing salt into the wound by winning a bottle of fine wine in the raffle!!

Well losing by around 100 runs you know what I mean!

On a hot and sultry day the first task was to re-lay the boundary which the previous night’s torrential rain had washed away. It was clearly an omen…and obviously by the time our opponents finally arrived (were they friends of Banger? Ed.) the boys were clearly drained by the sapping humidity or the news that Gusher’s foot was playing up or as in the case of Steve C that he’d already pulled at least one more muscle in the warm up – I blame Deano and his tales of Achilles for that one!

Losing the toss Marsh were left to swelter in the field and to begin with Lucy and Timmo kept the scoreboard on a tight leash like a pair of terriers after a good bone (no jokes thank you. Ed.). With Lucy tempting an edge to 1st slip and Westy running one out things looked good to begin with. But the Wrath of Khan (actually a very nice chap and a very good cricketer!) scattered the balls to all corners of the empire – although Shaggy did get fined for a missed chance early on – clearly the 50 and retire rule was not deemed sensible. Wyatt Earp deserves a mention for an excellent spell of bowling that even Khan treated with great respect.

Unfortunately the heat, the humidity, or whatever it was the fielders drooped and things got away from us. Not even a shower of rain and an early tea could save us from having to chase 229.

The tea was very well received and in the knowledge that we’d chased down 220 the previous week all was not lost! With Joe primed to keep his head on and Lucy to hold up one end the innings began well – we were ahead of the required rate after 10 overs. But that was as good as it got – when the Armadillo’s opening bowler, a young man of great pace, little direction and the world’s limpest hand shake suddenly got his line right he removed 2 in 2.

This exposed the middle order and the Armadillos change bowlers – the pace of bowling dropped dramatically, unfortunately the pace at which wickets fell did not! The one shining beacon was Jordan’s 50! A cultured example of straight hitting and how to deal with the bad ball – shame we didn’t all follow his lead – after all there were plenty of bad balls to be hit – just not straight to fielders (Steve C, Tom B and Westy!!!!).

Never mind lads away to Horton next Sunday (apparently Wyatt Earp went to school there!) and a change for the Empire to Strike Back!

Sorry Stevie T I couldn’t find any star wars references to mini-skirts!!! And thanks again to Ann for what is clearly the neatest and most accurate scoring book in Oxfordshire and top level banter at Steve C’s expense!!