In a story not too dissimilar to a Comic Strip (“5 go mad on Mescalin“) escapade the sunday crew enjoyed a feast fit to burst a Jeacock, some amazing crowd scenes, an umpire in an unfortunate situation and the presence of a young promising player called Crouchy (who he? Ed.). And Guesty still managed to miss out – but more of that later…
With the forecast suggesting we should pack pacamacs rather than picnics the crew assembled to take on the might of Weymes and Westcott, our slayers in last season’s final game. Marsh felt confident with a strong cast:
Julian – Westy
Dick – Guesty
George – Scotty
Anne – Ann
Uncle Quentin – Mouth
Aunt Fanny – Lucy
Toby – WyattEarp
Shopkeeper / Gypsy / Timmy the dog – Mikey
Dirty Dick – Shaggy
Fingers – SteveO
Police Inspector – RDM
Railway Porter – Crouchy
Under a slate grey sky Julian won the toss (Ahem. There are children reading this. Ed.) and chose to bat, especially as Westcott were still awaiting the arrival of their 11th man. With the somewhat strange partnership of Uncle Quentin and Aunt Fanny opening the rest of the crew waited with baited breath. In fact it didn’t take too long for Uncle Quentin to ask his spouse to calm down after stroking two through the offside ring (of fielders – Ed.). Unfortunately Aunt Fanny retreated into her shell for 23 balls (despite the crowd being geared up to cheer her when she hit double figures)! After Quentin had left the field, shortly followed by Timmo the dog and Fanny, the railway porter entered stage right to treat the ball and the bowlers as if they were pieces of luggage at Heathrow in a short and brutal scene.
Time then to take stock – a bit of nurdling required – as Weymes began to make an impact. Toby steadied the ship whilst wickets fell around him, Fingers and Dick removed (oh come on! Ed.), Dirty Dick triggered and the Inspector bowled over. Finally Julian joined Toby for the last few overs to get the score up to 178, leaving George on his lonesome with no where to go.
At teatime, the crew’s taste for outdoor picnics of “ham and turkey sandwiches, bags of lettuce, hard-boiled eggs, heaps of tomato, and lashings of ginger beer” was there for all to see.
It was either the mescalin or the scones but the reply from the crew was sharp and fast! Timmy the Dog having one opener caught by Julian in the slips (careful, Ed.) in the first over. Reducing Westcott to 3 for 2 soon after the crew were in command and not even a 40 something from the mighty Weymes could halt their progress. In true sunday fashion Julian decided to spread the load around (I’ve warned you. Ed.) Timmy the Dog enjoyed a spell behind the sticks, Uncle Quentin turned his arm over, the Inspector took a good catch to remove the mighty Weymes and Dirty Dick’s success with the ball promoted a spontaneous eruption of St Vitus Dance from the watching onlookers. In fact the only one to miss out with the ball was Dick (don’t even think it! Ed.) as the crew strolled to a comfortable win.
Huzzah, three cheers for MGCC!!!
Ed. We would just like to point out that in no way does this tale of summer cricket suggest that Uncle Quentin is a “screaming homosexual” nor his wife Fanny an “unrelenting nymphomaniac”, as well as clearly not strongly implying a homosexual relationship between Dick and Julian nor a bestial one between George and Timmy. Nor should the children’s apparently racist and extreme right-wing views be considered as a true representation of the events of last sunday.
